Remember the Titans? Probably, few of you do. Actually, very few of you knew about the show in the first place, which is why it got canceled. Well, what kept you all away? The bad acting? The recycled storylines? The horrendous dialogue? Or was it the total absence of even one likable and morally redeemable character? Titans: Incest never looked so glamorous.
Dessert isn’t always the best part of the meal.
Not as tasty as the original flavor.
Bravo had already sunk its meaty hooks into us with the delicious thrill of watching fashion designers and chefs compete for fame and fortune, so a show where aspiring interior designers vied for the same thing in the same manner seemed like a natural. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, nothing — save for twelve not-all-that-interesting contestants, wildly inconsistent judging, and a dismissal catchphrase so forced and banal, it had us running toward the exits after the first show. But we toughed it out for the entire ten-episode first season, and you, the train-wreck-loving public, are the richer for it.
The fact that this underwhelming drama from Tim Kring made us miss Kiefer Sutherland in 24 wasn’t a surprise. But it even made us nostalgic for Heroes. Season 4. Yes.
Once again, we learned that TWoP’s demographics and those of the WWF don’t really have much overlap (a lesson we should have learned from our brief foray into recapping WWF Smackdown!). The recaps were tough, but the readership wasn’t quite enough.
Who knew it would turn out to be the televisual equivalent of a tapeworm? It seemed like a fun little makeover show, but this series was one cautionary tale after another, with lessons galore for fame whores and hapless homeowners and deluded designers. Deborah, Kim, and a passel of substitute recappers strove mightily to cope with the onslaught of paint, MDF, fabric, attitude, and hay — yes, hay — but eventually, the greed of TV execs got totally out of hand. TWoP decided to use the money it cost to cover this show’s bloated schedule to buy all the recappers TiVos and gold-plated remote controls instead. We’re sure the cast and crew will have a lovely time redecorating the Permanent Hiatus floor of TWoP Towers.
This horrid show revolved around a supernaturally dumb morgue intern who relives days in order to save lives suffered from stupid, obvious plots; cringe-inducing dialogue; one-dimensional characters; and non-existent direction. It was ignored by critics and beaten regularly by wrestling on UPN. And then it was inexplicably picked up for a full season, prompting TWoP to cancel the recaps on the off-chance the folks at FOX had somehow forgotten how that facet of the industry works and needed a demonstration.
Back when network television still gave an absolute lunatic a chance to make a difference, David Lynch created a television show intended to revolutionize the one-hour drama. And it did, because after this show got canceled, no network exec ever wanted to see one again. Kyle McLachlan and Lara Flynn Boyle made it out with only a few scars, but the rest of the cast got lost in an obscurity that can only be relived here.
Not nearly twisted enough. Guess they can’t all be Pretty Little Liars.