Apprentice: Martha

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

1-13
Recap

Here Comes the Dawna

The Finale - One hour cut down from two, and the episode STILL slouched toward cancellation at a Xanaxed snail's pace. Dawna wins, Bethenny loses. Whatever. At least it's over.

12.20.2005
12.28.2005
D+

admin

1-12
Recap

Return of the Jimedi

The Empire Strikes Back - Hateful Jim's gone. And then he's back. Maybe someone will dump him in a Sarlacc pit.

12.13.2005
12.18.2005
B

admin

1-11
Recap

Seasoning Packet Greetings!

Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade Holiday - Tunes, 'tinis, and tumored sides of beef.

12.16.2005
12.17.2005

admin

1-11
Recap

Clueless Joe Jackson

Final Approach - See Ryan run. See Ryan drink beer. Drink lots of beer, Ryan! See Ryan get sent home. See Marcela do nothing. See Marcela do more nothing. See Marcela get sent home.

12.06.2005
12.12.2005
C-

admin

1-10
Recap

Paging Bobbie Spencer

A Ridiculous Display - The teams are tasked to come up with a showroom display for Buick's new "luxury" car that, strangely enough, also manages to bear the same name as Safeway's generic dairy label. Ah, Lucerne Cottage Cheese and canned peaches -- a great way to add that touch of class to your breakfast table and your next road trip.

11.29.2005
12.04.2005
C+

admin

1-9
Recap

Coffee Is For Closers

The Coffee Achievers - Tasked with selling space-age coffee machines, Primarius chooses to outsource things to a PR firm, while Matchstick opts to utterly bail on PM Marcela. When the former approach bests the latter, Ryan takes offense to charges of disloyalty, but it's Amanda's hatred of perfection that gets her bounced.

11.15.2005
11.20.2005
C-

admin

1-8
Recap

Up Your Nose with a Retractable Hose

Don’t Touch That Dial - The teams have to sell outdoor products on QVC. Matchstick weathers Amanda's me-first antics and sells lots of hose retractors. Primarius trusts its on-air presentation to Jim, who isn't the horror show you'd expect, but they lose anyway. And Howie's profound not caring gets him shown the door.

11.08.2005
11.14.2005
C

admin

1-7
Recap

Buzz Kill

Swimming Against The Tide - Martha really wows us with her double-fire of the Buzzkill Spinsters, Sarah and Carrie! If only Trump hadn't done that last year, or fired a whole team last week, maybe this actually would have been interesting.

11.01.2005
11.07.2005

admin

1-6
Recap

Who Let The Jim Out?

Every Dog Has His Day - In the course of this task, Hateful Jim reaches new heights of rubber-faced insanity, but still manages to drag a kicking and screaming Primarius to victory, while Marcela and her damp Matches are left without a fire under their asses. David gets the Nicest! Letter! Ever! from Martha and is left whistling, "The chances, my friend, are blowing in the win, the chances...are blowing...in the win."

10.25.2005
10.31.2005
B-

admin

1-5
Recap

It's Quite Easy Being Green

Mixed Greens - Martha shakes it up, and Jennifer is the one who falls out.

10.18.2005
10.24.2005
C+

admin

1-4
Recap

Flow it out your ass!

Sweet Suite - After four weeks of being dumped on, Dawn is kicked out of the loft when Matchstick loses. Again. Some more.

10.11.2005
10.17.2005
D+

admin

1-3
Recap

There's No Success Like Failure And Failure's No Success At All

Bake It ‘Til You Make It - Wedding cakes are baked, and Matchstick loses again. Weather Girl Shawn and her ridiculous bravado are sent home after telling Martha that she "fakes it." And she's not talking about orgasms, either.

10.04.2005
10.07.2005
C+

admin

1-2
Recap

Jimmy, Jimmy, Quite The Ninny, How Does Your Psychosis Grow?

Business Is Blooming - Selling flowers, offending all of Holland, and the lamest reward ever all pale in comparison to Hateful Jim's continuing descent into lunacy.

09.27.2005
10.02.2005
C+

admin

1-1
Recap

Skittles and Vittles

Once Upon A Time - Matchstick and Primarius grimly rewrite children's fairy tales, and while PM Dawna and Primarius have their prince come in the form of sushi, PM Jeff of Matchstick is chopped up and made to lie under the juniper tree.

09.20.2005
09.25.2005
C+

admin

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