Joan of Arcadia

Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

2-22
Recap

"But What's Puzzling You / Is The Nature Of My Game"

Something Wicked This Way Comes - The spirits of Judith and Rocky visit Joan, as she continues to wonder about Ryan Hunter's intentions and motives. Ryan insinuates himself into the Girardis' life by securing positions of trust and power with the police force, school board, and newspaper. Joan, worried, asks God what she's being prepared for. Helen is having prescient/clairvoyant dreams: first about Judith, then about Father Ken's church being vandalized by evil clowns, and finally about the synagogue being burned down. As her dreams of desecration come horrifyingly true, she confides in Lily, who's begun to retreat into fears that she shouldn't have left the convent and should perhaps return. Will dismisses Joan's concerns about Ryan. Joan's friends are worried that she's starting to lose it -- again.

04.21.2005
04.27.2005
A

admin

2-21
Recap

Luke of Narcadia

Common Thread - Helen's rapist asks her to come see him on his deathbed. Helen does, but leaves Will's gun at home. Luke learns that Friedman's discovered pot, and decides to join him, but Luke's a little too high-strung for it. Joan rejects Adam's clueless overtures toward friendship. Adam loses his job and then goes for a hike and doesn't return. Worried about the possibility of suicide, everyone goes looking for him, except it's too dark and stormy to conduct a search. Grace confronts Joan about all the secrets she keeps and the way they distance her from everyone. Adam is finally found by another hiker, who might be the Devil, if the soundtrack is to be believed, or at the very least one of his handsome henchmen. Also: lots of knitting.

04.14.2005
04.20.2005
B-

admin

2-20
Recap

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

Spring Cleaning - God tells Joan to do some spring cleaning. As usual, Joan takes it fairly literally, and decides return all of Adam's mementoes and gifts. Her college counsellor has been accused of inappropriate behaviour by a mentally unbalanced student. Joan intervenes to try to help him, and sort of does. Kevin considers moving out, but it leads to a blow-up with Lily over his assumptions. Grace decides to give Luke a leather jacket to make him more like her. Luke turns into this swaggering caricature, provoking Grace to dress up in a very scary outfit to slap sense into him. God tells Joan that she hasn't really done the cleaning he was talking about: the spiritual kind.

04.07.2005
04.12.2005
B-

admin

2-19
Recap

Law And Order: Special Virgins Unit

Trial And Error - Helen picks up her catechism classes with Lily again…only to learn Lily's dating Kevin. Will investigates a little girl's murder. Joan's excited about her first anniversary with Adam. Adam, not so much. God tells Joan to participate in Mock Trial. She ends up as prosecutor, while Grace is the defense attorney. They try the case of Jack the giant killer. Grace conscripts Adam to play Jack. As the case unfolds, Joan slowly realizes that Adam's cheated on her with Bonnie. Of course, Adam is awash in guilt and remorse, swearing it was "only" sex, but Joan declares they're done. Then she cries on Mrs. LandingGod's shoulder on the bus ride home.

03.31.2005
04.06.2005
C+

admin

2-18
Recap

God Is My Co-Pilot

Secret Service - God frames Joan by making it seemed like she egged Price's car. She's sentenced to a weekend of community service, supervised by Lily, who's having issues with God. Interloper #327 is foisted upon Joan and Adam in the form of Bonnie, a delinquent artist. Joan and Adam argue about his need for some alone time. Adam takes an interest in Bonnie's talent, talking Helen into letting Bonnie join her class. Luke loses a science prize to Glynis and Friedman. Will tries to fix stuff and fails, like almost every fictional male on television. Kevin and Lily get into a minor car accident. Kevin and Lily bitch each other out until Lily manages to finagle another date, which goes a lot better than the last one.

03.03.2005
03.09.2005
C+

admin

2-17
Recap

One Small Step For Kevin

Shadows And Light - …one giant leap backwards for us, as the A-plot was not only kind of a mess, but was totally not in keeping with a vital premise of the show. God basically forces Joan to get involved in a series of events that lands Stevie's mother in jail, and His reasons for doing so are sadly problematic. Kevin makes us mad by being unforgivably mean to Luke, but we still feel happy for him when he takes a few steps with the aid of electrical stimulation therapy. And everything else in the episode was perfect. Too bad about that whole main plot thing.

02.24.2005
03.02.2005
B-

admin

2-16
Recap

Ready Or Not

Independence Day - Joan wants to go to a concert with Adam and stay overnight in his father's camper. The 'rents refuse, Joan throws a hissy, and then lies and goes anyway. Things get pretty frisky in the camper, and Adam's plenty ready to have sex, finally. Joan, not so much. Will's storyline? Pointless. Stevie keeps pursuing Friedman hard, but Friedman's totally uninterested, much to everyone's amazement. Until she kisses him. Kevin and Andy differ over Andy's future.

02.17.2005
02.23.2005
C+

admin

2-15
Recap

The Duffening II: Electric Boogaloo

Romancing The Joan - Adam hires an assistant named Stevie, played by Haylie Duff. Joan's jealous (even though Stevie's into Friedman, not Adam). Joan succumbs to her tutor, Roger, who kisses her while studying poetry. She confesses to Adam, who's hurt. But he admits he was enjoying Joan's jealousy of Stevie. Meanwhile, Kevin and Lily hook up, but it's pretty rocky, and falls apart during their first date. Helen finally confronts Will about his relationship with Lucyfer. He tells Helen that he never did the deed, but Lucyfer's got his balls in a vise anyway. Helen shows up at work to take the Beelzebub by the horns. Lucyfer's leaving anyway, for the Justice Department, where she should fit right in.

02.10.2005
02.15.2005
B-

admin

2-14
Recap

"Can You See Them / See Right Through Them"

The Rise & Fall Of Joan Girardi - Joan saves the life of a snotty girl (Hilary Duff). So Joan's a big local hero and then she's not. This is followed by yelling, boo-hooing, and then unlikely bonding. Luke's about to get his driver's license and Grace is busting his gas-guzzling balls over his contribution to global warming. Luke's afraid she's going to break up with him over it but learns their relationship isn't that fragile. Lucyfer? Is about seventeen kinds of evil. Kevin gets a haircut, and exploits Joan's celebrity for his own career ends. Adam's boss rips off some of Adam's ideas, thereby teaching him this valuable lesson: his work is good enough to steal.

01.27.2005
02.02.2005
C-

admin

2-13
Recap

I See Undead People

Queen Of The Zombies - Joan and Adam struggle to agree on a college. God wants Joan to try out for the school play (a musical about zombies). The director conscripts Adam to design and build sets. Joan stuns everyone with a surprisingly good performance. Glynis and Luke end up working on a science project with Grace, who struggles with feelings of jealousy and alienation as her boyfriend and his ex get their geek on. Andy Baker decides not to cooperate with the lawsuit against the Girardis, which effectively kills his parents' case. Kevin and Andy begin to rebuild their friendship, despite Will's initial discouragement.

01.13.2005
01.19.2005
B+

admin

2-12
Recap

A Show Of Hands

Game Theory - Joan, feeling like her college prospects are pretty dismal, starts to entertain alternatives to a four-year college. Nonetheless, she accompanies Adam when he visits a state college, where she meets a guy who offers to tutor her, arousing Adam's jealousy. Smoove G and Goth God both make appearances, encouraging Joan to stay in "the game." This culminates in a dramatic Rock Paper Scissors showdown between Joan and Luke. Beth dumps Kevin because she can't handle the wheelchair. Will rebuffs a mild physical advance from Lucyfer. Then Judith's killer suddenly turns up with a very professional bullet in his brain. Will is relieved when Helen decides to abandon her efforts toward confirmation.

01.06.2005
01.11.2005
B-

admin

2-11
Recap

Six Feet Under

Dive - God tells Joan to do something she's afraid of, so she tries out for the diving team, despite her acrophobia. Luke and Grace quarrel over their respective cowardice. Luke also tries out for the diving team. Helen confesses to Will that she's scared of God, so Will consults Lily. Kevin and Beth reunite, but Beth seems a little anxious about Kevin's paralysis. Will and Chewy are about to arrest someone in Judith's murder, when Lucyfer suddenly pulls them off the case without explanation. Lucyfer finally confesses she did it because she has feelings for Will. Joan, who's been having lots of dreams about Judith, finally realizes that the scary thing she's supposed to do is let Judith go.

12.09.2004
12.15.2004
C+

admin

2-10
Recap

Jew Of Arcadia

The Book Of Questions - Beth is deposed. Will questions Ryan, but he's completely uncooperative. Lucyfer employs some highly unethical tactics in getting the kid to crack, and when Helen hears of it, she wonders who Will is turning into. Joan helps Grace with her bat mitzvah. When Joan discovers the truth about Grace's mother, Grace freaks and tries to cancel again, but Joan tells Grace to stand up and declare herself. Grace relents. Her mom promises to behave at the ceremony and the whole thing goes off without a hitch. Joan and Adam discuss God, and Judith's death. Luke gives Grace the gift of astronomy.

11.25.2004
12.02.2004
B+

admin

2-9
Recap

"Until A Little Light Gets Through"

No Future - Joan and her friends try to cope with Judith's death. The Girardis are all being deposed for the lawsuit, and there are flashbacks and emotions aplenty. Joan resoundingly fails her physics test. Mr. Price reviews college prospects with students. He tells Joan she has little, if any, academic future. Helen tears him a new one. It's Luke's birthday, and he convinces Grace to join his family for his birthday dinner. Unfortunately, his parents have not only completely forgotten his birthday, but invited Lucyfer for dinner. Luke shows up with Grace, and is hurt to realize that his parents have forgotten. Joan, however, remembers, and gives Luke a special gift. Then, in front of Joan, Grace tears up the confidentiality agreement…and kisses Luke.

11.18.2004
11.23.2004
A

admin

2-8
Recap

No Goofs

Friday Night - God tells Joan she needs to catch what's coming at her. Judith tries to teach Joan to juggle, and helps Adam and Joan prepare for their first official date at a fancy French restaurant. Grace and Luke reenact The Gift of the Magi -- he skips his schlock film fest to join her at her anarchists' meeting, and she skips the meeting to join him at the film fest. Friedman finally figures out their secret. Judith is stabbed while hanging out with some old "friends" who were looking to score some X. At the hospital, Adam loses it and splits. Judith and her mom sort of reconcile, and Joan juggles for Judith. And then Judith dies. And then Joan loses it. And then Friedman (mis)quotes Hamlet.

11.11.2004
11.17.2004
A+

admin

2-7
Recap

Three's A Crowd

P.O.V. - Joan annoys and alienates almost everyone with her public videography efforts, especially Adam. While surreptitiously videotaping Adam and Judith working on an art project, she witnesses a heartfelt discussion and hug -- and jumps to the worst conclusion. Helen is contacted by an old boyfriend. Will and Kevin play golf with Lucyfer. Will and Kevin manage to convince Helen to consult with a tough new lawyer, but Helen hates the whole idea. Luke keeps pushing Grace and trying to break down her barriers to intimacy. Friedman's getting all three-dimensional and shit: he confides in Luke about how much he sincerely likes Judith, and brings her flowers.

11.04.2004
11.10.2004
B-

admin

2-6
Recap

The Wages Of Sin

Wealth Of Nations - God tells Joan to use the knowledge that earned her an A+ on her economics midterm. Helping her mother out with a clothing drive for the homeless, Joan decides she can help more by selling clothes to a vintage store, buying new clothes for the homeless, and pocketing some for herself. This little scheme backfires when Helen ends up buying one of the donated coats; when Helen learns the truth, she tears Joan a new one. Luke convinces Grace to go to an Alateen meeting. Will convinces Helen to countersue the Bakers. Will's new boss Lucy learns enough about Andy Baker's father's business problems to give the Girardis major blackmail leverage. Kevin tries standup comedy.

10.28.2004
11.03.2004
B-

admin

2-5
Recap

Arcadia the Beautiful

The Election - God tells Joan to get involved in elections for student council president. Joan decides to support the argyle-wearing dink who fired her from the yearbook last year. But Brian's a long shot, compared to a good-looking jock named Lars. Some students spread the (true) story that Brian's father is in jail. Joan decides to take the low road and dig up some dirt on Lars. She and Judith discover him about to kiss…his secret boyfriend. Helen gets into a censorship squabble in art class. Brian loses the election. Grace confides in Luke a little more about her mother's alcoholism. Will clashes with his new boss. Adam snags an internship at a graphic design studio.

10.21.2004
10.27.2004
B

admin

2-4
Recap

The Slings And Arrows Of Outrageous Fortune

The Cat - When the Girardis' crotchety Aunt Olive has a stroke during a visit, Helen feels compelled to take her in while she recovers. The family grudgingly goes along. God tells Joan to adopt a feral cat, and though she hates cats, she complies. Adam balks at a pop art assignment in Helen's class, but Helen thinks he has the makings of a good graphic artist. Judith agrees to a date with The Friedman if he can memorize all of Hamlet. Roebuck takes the fall for bringing two dirty cops into the force; Will and Det. Eating Disorder will be reporting to Annie Potts now. Alas, poor Roebuck! And Grace finally opens up to Luke, confessing, "My mother drinks."

10.14.2004
10.21.2004
A

admin

2-3
Recap

Growth Opportunity

Back To The Garden - The Girardis learn that Kevin went to see Andy, which causes Andy's lawyer to double the amount of damages asked for. Kevin insists on participating in the lawsuit. Will and Chewy stumble upon yet more police corruption. Luke pushes Grace on the terms of their agreement, but decides he's willing to be patient while Grace becomes more comfortable with the idea of a relationship. For a physics project, Joan decides to plant a garden in a highly unsuitable location. She tries to get help from Adam, Grace, and Judith with no luck. They all eventually get involved for different reasons of their own. When a bulldozer threatens the plot, Judith grandstands.

10.07.2004
10.13.2004
B-

admin

2-2
Recap

Hole In Your Soul

Out Of Sight - Helen continues to explore Catholicism, and her family knows about it now. Joan's none too comfortable with it, and God continues to pester her. Joan's friend Judith from Mental Acres shows up at school. Kevin confronts Andy about the lawsuit. Judith throws a party and drinks herself into a stupor; Grace saves her. Joan is overcome with guilt and remorse. She and Adam do their hourly patching-up of their relationship, and Joan cries on Mrs. LandingGod's shoulder.

09.30.2004
10.05.2004
B

admin

2-1
Recap

"The Lamps Are Different, But The Light Is The Same"

Only Connect - Joan's home after a six-week stint at Mental Acres. Adam's ready to believe she saw God, but Joan's decided it never happened, and things are weird between them. Grace and Luke are seeing each other secretly, because Grace has issues and Luke…has no spine; and the Girardis are being sued by the family of the boy whose drunk driving paralyzed Kevin. Joan breaks up with Cute Guy God. And how's your day going?

09.23.2004
09.29.2004
A

admin

1-23
Recap

Desolation

Silence - Could all of Joan's experiences with God over the past year be attributed to an undiagnosed case of Lyme disease? Would that tick you off?

05.20.2004
05.27.2004
A

admin

1-22
Recap

La Vie En Rove

The Gift - God wants Joan to give Adam a gift. Joan can't help thinking God means.that, especially when she finds a condom in his bag and presumes that sex is what Adam needs most. It turns out that what Adam needs most is a Garfield night light. No wait -- he needs faith in himself. And Luke lets Grace know he's still interested in her, by giving her a really pretty chunk of rock.

05.13.2004
05.18.2004
A

admin

1-21
Recap

Maybe He's Born With It...Maybe It's Maybelline

Vanity, Thy Name Is Human - A course on cosmetology leads Joan to various extremes, including flipping out on Adam. It also leads to Glynis and Luke breaking up. Kevin runs into an old girlfriend, and has nothing but completely misguided hostility and bitterness for her. Will busts a teenage prostitution ring, on a hunch, and becomes a local hero yet again. And Helen's painted a really good painting...so she burns it.

05.06.2004
05.12.2004
B

admin

1-20
Recap

"Anonymous" Was A Woman

Anonymous - Envious of the things Adam and Iris have in common, Joan volunteers to be a photographer for the yearbook, trying to find something she's good at. In the process she learns that Adam loves her just as she is, with all her floundering. Joan also discovers a good but anonymous poem -- which turns out to have been written by Grace. Will and Toni thwart an uxoricide.

04.29.2004
05.04.2004
B+

admin

1-19
Recap

Collision

Do The Math - Joan dredges up her father's estranged half-brother, upsetting Will deeply. Kevin continues to pursue his neurological recovery and Joan takes piano lessons at God's behest. Adam gives himself a much-needed barnaclectomy.

04.01.2004
04.07.2004
A

admin

1-18
Recap

Are You There, God? It's Me, Joan

Requiem For A Third Grade Ashtray - Joan gets a tiny taste of familial responsibility. Grace finally gives in after a few years of resistance and submits to her bat mitzvah preparation. Will is trapped in an elevator with a woman who goes into labour. Helen is frazzled, Luke is sick, and Kevin farts. Fortunately, no one is trapped in an elevator with him.

03.11.2004
03.17.2004
B-

admin

1-17
Recap

Revenge Is Sour

No Bad Guy - God tells Joan to join the band, for reasons that are not totally clear. Some snotty girls disseminate a picture of Joan in her underwear. Helen's first art show is trashed by a critic. Some old guy mows down a bunch of people by accident. Joan sprains her ankle doing laundry. Adam and Jane confess they're in love with each other -- but not in so many words. Yeah, it's a big muddle.

02.26.2004
03.02.2004
C-

admin

1-16
Recap

Casper, The Friendly Ghost

Double Dutch - Joan makes friends with a homeless girl named Casper, who abruptly disappears from Joan's life. Adam's school art project is meant to hurt and upset Helen. Will and Luke have a very honest discussion about their relationship. Rebecca is pissed off when Kevin responds to the advances of another woman.

02.19.2004
02.24.2004
B+

admin

1-15
Recap

Boiling Point

Night Without Stars - The Girardis show their ugly sides. Adam gets involved with a plot device named Iris.

02.12.2004
02.18.2004
C

admin

1-14
Recap

Grace Under Pressure

State Of Grace - God gets Joan on the debate team to argue in favour of the newly instituted security measures at the high school. Grace is so adamantly opposed even to participating in a debate about it that it drives a wedge into her friendship with Joan. Helen applies to be the art teacher at Arcadia High, and Friedman convinces Luke to go after Glynis. Will investigates an apparent gay bashing.

02.05.2004
02.10.2004
C+

admin

1-13
Recap

Dance Me Outside

Recreation - God finally gives Joan a fun assignment: have a party. She and Luke don't have very much fun, though. Helen and Will go away to a spa and don't have very much fun, either. Kevin and Rebecca, however, manage to buck the Girardi trend by having some fun. Adam and Joan struggle to redefine their relationship in the wake of The Kiss.

01.15.2004
01.20.2004
B+

admin

1-12
Recap

Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy

Jump - Jane and Adam kiss. Deborah breaks her Squee-o-Meter. Yeah, all kinds of other stuff happens, too. It's all good.

01.08.2004
01.14.2004
A+

admin

1-11
Recap

Bully For You

The Uncertainty Principle - God instructs Joan to invite the school bully to the winter semi-formal dance. Grace kisses Luke. Will and Toni blow the lid off the steaming cauldron of municipal corruption.

12.11.2003
12.18.2003
B+

admin

1-10
Recap

My Sister's Keeper

Drive, He Said - Will is abducted when he stops a criminal making a getaway, and Joan gets her driver's licence. Luke wins a $30,000 TriMathlon competition, with more than a little help from C8-H10-N4-O2 -- and Helen's home pregnancy test indicates she's pregnant. Luke believes Joan's the one who's pregnant, and tries to intervene in her relationship with Adam.

12.04.2003
12.09.2003
B

admin

1-9
Recap

Paranoid Schizophrenic With A Miscellaneous Complex

St. Joan - When Joan is accused of cheating on a history test, she has to figure out how to respond to that, and is surprised when God tells her to back down. The whole family finally gets into therapy together, which prompts an emotional outburst from Kevin. And Will hates his job, and can't take much more of the dirty local politics.

11.20.2003
11.25.2003
B-

admin

1-8
Recap

God Told Me To

The Devil Made Me Do It - God asks Joan to do something fairly questionable: keep Adam's sculpture out of an art show at the high school. Joan's so conflicted about this request that she starts wondering if it's really God asking.

11.13.2003
11.18.2003
B+

admin

1-7
Recap

Nor Yet Canst Thou Kill Me, Yo

Death Be Not Whatever - A dying child, a dead mother, police brutality, a suicide attempt, and grief. As if that's not enough, it gets worse: a high school career fair. Wait! Come back! It's really good.

11.06.2003
11.11.2003
A

admin

1-6
Recap

Cheer Nation

Bringeth It On - A high school girl abandons a baby in a dumpster, and God tells Joan to try out for the cheerleading squad.

10.30.2003
11.03.2003
A

admin

1-5
Recap

Maternal Instincts

Just Say No - Some wanker named Clay asks Joan out, but it doesn't take her long to figure out that he's a loser. It takes her a little longer to figure out what's troubling her mother, and even then, God needs to give her a really big hint. Will and Daghlian work on a stagnating rape case, and Daghlian ends up pulling a boneheaded (if well-intentioned) move that gets him fired. But Kevin gets a job, so the employment rate for Arcadia remains unchanged.

10.23.2003
10.27.2003
A

admin

1-4
Recap

Joan of Ark

The Boat - Will tries to convince Kevin to play wheelchair basketball, but Kevin wants no part of it, or of his father's expectations. Will is also dealing with a cop killer on the loose -- maybe two. Joan's current assignment is to build a boat. God gives her some money but no explicit instructions. And she's tempted to tell Adam about the whole God thing.

10.16.2003
10.20.2003
B

admin

1-3
Recap

The Medium and the Message

Touch Move - Will is forced to work with a psychic on a child abduction case. Helen struggles with whether to hope or pray or search for miracles to help Kevin. And Joan's latest assignment from God is to study chess.

10.09.2003
10.13.2003
B+

admin

1-2
Recap

The Smallest Catalyst

The Fire And The Wood - Joan gets a glimpse of the nature of catalysis, as God continues working through her. Will investigates an arson case. Kevin gets his license, and a car, and almost gets a date.

10.02.2003
10.06.2003
B

admin

1-1
Recap

Pilot

Pilot - Jack's mentor commits suicide (or does he?) and Jack takes over as managing partner of Triple L, the evil law firm.

09.27.2003
09.29.2003
C+

admin

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